May log

 Dear Journal,

                Hey how's it going? so far mine is somewhat well. I have been faithful to my needs, but I need to balance it out. Anyway, I have been feeling uneasy, like I feel sad at the same time I'm feeling extreme emotions, I don't know precisely what's going on. But, one thing for sure reading manhwa fantasy romance isn't for me anymore, it's dangerous since it enables me to daydream and over-romanticize my life and takes me further into the rabbit hole. 

                Realistically, I don't usually feel emotion unless it's to over romance everything around me. Or about worrying everything else ahaha. I need energy not from me but from someone else, it's easier. I'm feeling like my old self no more of this new persona that's taking over my life. So, moving on I bought a new gold bracelet its 18k and 4.2 grams, cute blush, carnelian stone bracelet, opal stone ring with silver inlaid , two summer dresses (black and baby blue) so that's all. Well reading this now, it's actually not that much? I'm usually not used to buying this much? usually it's twice to 5th buy for the whole year, also of course I didn't just buy for myself. I bought him a silver chain with moissanite cross for lucky charm, a 20000 mAh powerbank, 9000 mAh jisu life fan, and sweet good foods with souvenirs from my trip. 

               It's not that bad, I just have to work harder for my splurge with purpose right? I mean those are all a need. Anyway I just wish his attitude would change, I noticed that he is changing and I somewhat do not like it. I'm just not gonna delve into it, too stressful.

               Update, my studies are doing really well. That's why I wanted to reward myself so much because if not then who will? And so moving on, the next update would be about my new found concept of ambitions? My goal is after I graduate in nursing school, I take my board exams and then I apply for the paralegal program from an IVY league university in the philippines, then take my NCLEX. After all those I apply for a dermatologist nurse slash legal work. Then after gaining my experiences I will apply for abroad maybe in UAE, or just somewhere with a lot of benefits. I plan to achieve more and gain valuable experiences. I want to be someone my future child/ren will aspire to be, someone who is independent and successful in their own terms. We can do this!