Hey there

 

Greetings,

            Been a while but I'm back, here for the long run wow lol. Anyway here's the gist, some have sadly passed and the only good thing coming out from this dark tunnel is my poppy due date soon. Yes she is about to have puppies! I'm back again after several hours, yeah my attention was quite fish-acting. Exam weeks is upon us and I would be very much preoccupied with college stuff, I know very boring. I miss having a maid, things are just not done as it was with them around you know? Not acting spoiled or anything I'm just too drain to do chores specially with my crippling anemia and being a college student. I am trying to be more active and be normal through working out and tending to my pets. I know it's not even close to being heavy, just that I feel so tired even just by doing nothing or just eating, it is so severe I am aware. Ranting aside, oh how I really like how my investment has turned out.  I don't feel so bummed out for now it's the only good thing happening from my plans. Right now I am planning to invest on something again even more excited when it happens. It can take a little while but hey feasible. I can do this! My life is too short to actually stress about thoughts that doesn't give meaning to my wellbeing or lifestyle, it even took away years of my life but no not again! I am gonna be more prepared and do better. 

Soon I will be graduating and hopefully I can still be who I am today, I don't wanna change much as I want it to be genuine and nostalgic for me now as a future core memory and stuff. I am reading a soft vanilla manhua right now, yes it gave me the energy boost I needed. Gosh time changes too fast and when I noticed it, years had already passed from my state of mind to actually take-in and process what the heck is happening. Now I can proudly say yes I am doing well and I can do anything. I love love life. So do you!

Yet again

 

Greetings,

            Hello I'm back and doing great. Remove the worried thoughts and just see things as it is, don't mind anything else and just do it now that is a reminder I'll keep in mind. Well this is becoming some sort of a diary wonder why there isn't a journal app in Mac. My motto would be in things that is done there is something sacrificed to have something. I am grateful for everything I get to do and own, and change is something I aim to thrive and learn to accept the bounds of my decision. I had no idea why I didn't noticed that I was already overwhelmed with so many information and graphics exposed in media, it's like I'm less happy yet I want to learn more about different things, you know? Why do we get so tired and yet restless just by also doing nothing yet our brain does so much that we didn't even notice? though the effects is quite visible in our stature and mindset. It's so scary that we can be or I can do so much less yet feel a lot tired than being out adventuring and stuff. Maybe it's about the willingness where our focus and reality interjects the loop of mindedness in our core, like where we are closest to our heart and mind and no outside voices telling us about anything we didn't know or that "they' said in a fast pace we should. Nowadays they said we must have knowledge, but aren't those people that have known and watch mindlessly on TikTok feels under the weather more? Or is it about the interest or context of that information the mass is feeding us into? Going back to the topic of knowing knowledge, we learn things that we need in our own time in encountering it no matter what mode and yes I know there are people who wished they knew things they know now. 

The key points to the matter is that if we need something it will come to us in the natural nature of its own accord in the string of time. Well except if we need to fix things or learn about our work, I am not contradicting because in all said and done my message is to take things in a pace that has a momentum for us where life is not as fast and overwhelming today. An example of this is the early 2000s to 2015, where simplicity at its best and we share the reality of being genuine and how to actually portray happiness effortlessly. I don't mean to say that I know everything only that as far as I know these are the things I believe in or had observed. My next topic would be religion, not really gonna delve much just that on the surface. I would like to have a foundation of belief but not the strong hold of my life, just that I want to be better and do things as equality it goes including animals. Yesterday I was walking to commute near my campus well I walked for a bit and then I encountered three kittens and I waited for a good 30mins and observed them, they seemed to be not properly fed all boney and bloody, many people was passing by and noticed the kittens they pitied them. Then as normal as I did things like my dad  I took it home and had it taken care of with goat milk, wiped their eyes and bum, gave them vitamins, and gave them a warm temporary cardboard box home. I will surely give them a good home in our other home where the cats are big and lived in our spacious lot with lots of food and proper care given. Update this morning a lot of ring worms came out from the poop of the kittens when we fed them a vitamin, their stomach our now looking healthy with lots of warm milk fed to them. Also don't worry their home right now is warm and they're together. Anyway I have an ongoing class right, I'll update when I can. Until then.

Back again

 

Greetings,

               Hello, yesterday I bought my laptop and I'm using it right now. So far so good. I have been forgetting lately that anxiety is only a story being told in our head, it's not real it never was. The reality seems to be closer to our lips and head, what we say or think becomes our manifestation in this timeline. I want to do something everyday like literally in a word like "finished", sounds nice. Lately just by watching tv shows, movies, vlogs, etc.. without daydreaming now watching it just feels different, the difference is I am not fully immersed and fantasizing what ifs scenarios that will be the end of my explosive head. But then something hit me by reading through the media, daydreaming hinders us from our potential to do our chores, or even be attentive to where we are right now not extravagant adventure time imagination created world. I am doing this to document my progress whether someone is reading or not. Today again was a no show in person class but an online and it was 6 hours, golly I know. I thought by buying something things will magically take place and suddenly my life will fast forward to the end part the best part, but it turns out if buying was the goal then what's next? 

This time make sure to practice being present and think things through, I know it's obvious but it's easier said than done. But then again I don't want to kill my emotion and greatest desire, through this we all can find feasible ways and for me it's by getting things done right away and after that make a list cross it out then make a longer goal. Through this I made noticeable changes in my freshman year, but then I got burnout because I did not expect that would actually happen to me, I though by just keep on going things will follow. Wrong I was, remember to always rest when things don't make sense and be a little kinder to our little version. I'm hoping for a future where I'll just laugh about things I wrote about here. As of the moment my head feels like a heavy ton, I have no idea why but it could be from my lifestyle. Be right back I'm gonna do a quick yoga workout. Talk with you tomorrow, until then.

What's next?

 

Greetings,

               Hello, well classes are suspended everywhere here. I mean there is constant thunderstorms and heavy rain these past few days. Anyway, since I stopped drinking coffee the past 2days, I started feeling less anxious and just focused more in taking my supplements. My supplements are vitamin c + iron, fish oil, magnesium + zinc, calcium yet I always forget to take it because it's so freaking big, vitamin e on occasions for that instant glow, collagen powder on green tea (let the bag sit for 3-5 mins to get that subtle tea leaves yet sweetened after taste. I am planning also to take again vit b12 because it's good for your fatigue, but then again all you really need are the supplements I mentioned above. My goal for today is to start hopping on phone calls to different branches, I don't know why but it seemed everywhere in Metro Manila of Power Mac Center has no stocks on the unit I'm looking for. It's been 4 days of me countlessly calling the point here was to go there in person so to avoid swapping of goods upon delivery or error in online payment. I think they are postponing it so the student discount would end soon, and as soon as it's over they will then restock. Well, I am not quite sure of it, it's just so irritating of how things don't always work for me in feasible time. 

I am fighting demons by staying here and away from my phone, the music playing from my phone is banger though. Should I start making stories? Like my life story isn't even that entertaining, guess I'll think about it some more. I am very much tempted to take coffee as of this moment just by looking outside the balcony, isn't the weather just so cozy? Also update on my French Duolingo journey, today marks the 9th day of my streak! I am going to also less hate everyone, and just speak in fancy French. I reflected for a bit and thought that well I'm not the only victim here, in some way everyone is also. Is everyone here updated on the it ends with us issues? Whose side are you in? For sure I'm with Blair. 

French songs just hit different; I highly suggest these: Angele & Damso (Demons), Indila (Love story, Tu Ne M'entends Pas, & Derniere danse), Vitaa (Pour que tu restes), Angele (Ta reine & Flou). For now, those are my recommendations. Have a great day ahead everyone, well then ta (in British accent)!

A 3rd year in nursing!

 

Greetings,

             Hello good day, I haven't posted for a little while because I was fighting the demons which I scrolled in the media and time flew by so fast! Anyway, after I processed my enrollment in clutch within the last day of enrollment and yes there were a lot of people but not as much as it did from my previous university. I actually shifted but that's a different story. Tomorrow will be my first day as a third year, this time I'm going to be friendly and less tense. I will just do it without doubting myself and just keep making even little difference in myself generally. I have so much to say and yet in person I tend to constrain my words and make a word that is quite abstract, now I realized that is not how you talk to people because they will not fully comprehend the extent of that meaning you are trying to deliver. 

The main goal here is to graduate and get license, remember doubting and being anxious won't give you progress or reward but digress through time and resources. An idea comes to mind that is to feel less the theoretical feeling but to create something from within "happiness" and "having to live the day to the fullest". It doesn't matter how they look at me but how I perceive myself, yeah. Quite frankly I am going to chill like Vanessa Hudgens, she is so cool ever since I watched her movie for the first time "High school musical" I really liked it. Speaking of likes, lately I just found out about more on my interest and dislike. Usually in the past I was willing to take the disadvantage just to make underserving people be okay. But now things have changed, I respect myself more and I don't let anyone trample over me even if it's my relatives or just anyone at all. 

I'm going to bed in a bit since it's getting late, and I have to get up early. I will update what will happen tomorrow and the following days. Well welcome to my third-year life in nursing! Good night.